One Goal, Different Pathways: Even Brady and Gronk Found a Way

“We’ve got a small group of really committed players who are growing frustrated by the lack of commitment from other players. I’m conflicted— our sport is amateur and I want people to have lives outside of [their sport], but these less committed players also said they want to win a championship. How do I handle these various levels of commitments when everyone has the same goal?”

This question from a coach is a great example of a challenge every coach faces to some degree, whether they are Bill Belichick at the Patriots managing Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski, a high school coach managing multi-sport athletes and single sport athletes, or a youth coach with athletes being forced to play a sport by their parents and ones who are already in love with the sport.

In fact, Brady and Gronkowski are a textbook example of how coaches and players of varying types of commitment are a healthy challenge for a team. When Rob Gronkowski first arrived in New England, his playful and less regimented off-field approach was well-documented. While Brady was known for his almost monastic focus on diet, training, and recovery, Gronkowski enjoyed a more freewheeling lifestyle. Yet, on the field, their connection was undeniable. Brady, recognizing Gronkowski's immense talent, didn't try to change his teammate's fundamental personality. Instead, he led by example with his own relentless dedication. There are stories of Brady inviting a then-young Gronkowski to extra throwing sessions after practice, not with stern demands, but with a quiet intensity that subtly raised Gronkowski’s professional standards. Brady understood that while their off-field commitments differed, their on-field dedication to winning could coexist and even complement each other.

So how do we as coaches help manage these situations? Here’s 3 ways.

1. Ask Questions to Foster Awareness 

A lot of coaches will ask players what their goals are—and yet we feel like that’s all the information we need to then design a path forward. Here’s the thing: Every player wants to win. Every player wants to be successful. But how bad? When a player shares their goal try asking these two questions: On a scale of 1-10 how important is this goal to you? What are you willing to sacrifice in pursuit of this goal? These questions bring awareness to the athlete and the coach of their level of importance in the goal—from a place of awareness you can better support athletes' goals.

2. Establish, Support, and Enforce a Minimum Standard

Bill Belichick had a minimum standard within the Patriot Way (it’s why Randy Moss’s career was short at the Patriots). Had he not—a disciplined player like Tom Brady would have quickly grown frustrated and wouldn’t have had the career. Except it wasn’t just Belichick who supported the standard—Brady worked hard when Gronkowski was drafted in 2010 to support him in meeting the standard. Brady tailored his leadership to build a relationship—used humor and play to often connect with Gronk. Meanwhile, he challenged him by inviting him to extra workouts. In these workouts, his own personal example raised the level.

3. Appreciate the Types of Commitment 

It’s not always different levels of commitment—in many ways it’s just a different type of commitment. What might have Gronkowski lost if he operated with the seriousness and intensity of Tom Brady? He might not have had a career as the balance he struck in his life worked for him because it kept it fun. Tom Brady’s legendary discipline kept it fun for Brady. Brady’s approach worked for Brady. Gronk’s approach worked for Gronk. It’s not just for the players—What might have the Patriots lost if they hadn’t allowed Gronkowski to be the unique energetic, funny, and playful athlete? It could be argued Gronkowski’s playful antics were needed in the team just as much as Brady’s extreme process-driven mindset. It’s important we appreciate the various levels and types of commitment within our team and see how they work for that individual and are good for the team.

Performance and Recreational Pathways System 

Since 2017, I’ve had coaches implement a system where coaches manage the varying type of commitment with transparency, support, and accountability. Players are able to clearly communicate whether they are one of two types of athlete: If you want to learn more about this system, download the Performance & Recreational Pathways PDF here. https://www.tocculture.com/free-resources