Significance Over Success

The tale is as old as time:

You find your passion, it could be anything—sports, business, dancing, music, writing.

You get good at it—you have some success, and it feels good.

The applause, the admiration, the awards, even the influence.

So you want more of it, not just a little bit– you want to be great.

And before you know it, the passion becomes an unhealthy obsession to get to the top of the mountain.

As you climb to the top, you do more than delay gratification—you start delaying your joy and fulfillment.

You start sacrificing what’s most important to you.

There are generally three outcomes for people on this path.

Outcome 1: You spend your life climbing but you never find the “top of the mountain.” Fueled by a selfish ambition for more and more—and you are miserable, unsatisfied, and empty.

Outcome 2: You reach the top, but when you do, you are lonely, unfulfilled, and filled with regret. You start to realize the only fulfillment at the top of the mountain is the fulfillment you bring with you. The experience invites reflection and self-discovery.

Outcome 3: You become overwhelmed by the climb—the pressure to perform, the criticism from outsiders, and the belief that your failures define you. The loneliness, depression, and lack of motivation invites reflection and self-discovery.

Reflection provides an opportunity for you to go in pursuit of meaning, fulfillment—to find your purpose. 

So you let go of the obsession with wins, awards, money. 

You redefine success around what will truly matter at the end of your life.

You stop building your resume and start thinking of your eulogy.

What matters to you?

• Relationships.
• Growth.
• Impact.
• Your calling.

A new ambition emerges, a selfless ambition. In leadership circles, it’s called transformational leadership.

But there is a danger few talk about.

Just as passion can turn to an unhealthy obsession, purpose can turn into an unhealthy obsession. How so?

When you try to be a savior to everyone in your life, and you don’t help everyone you meet, you feel like a failure.

When you're obsessed with personal growth it gets a new name—perfection. And when you have the very human experience of not being the person you want to be every minute of your day you feel like a failure.

When you judge your purpose by the depth of every relationship and a relationship deteriorates, you feel like a failure.

When you measure your significance by the number of lives you touch, you feel like a failure when you compare yourself to others.

All of these things can lead you to feel disconnected from your purpose— to question your self-worth.

Significance Over Success came at the right time for me.

In my enthusiasm to live a meaningful and purposeful life, I started to lose sight of the thing that is most significant: love.

Above all else, we are all called to love.

To love the person in front of you—from the person making your coffee, to the athlete who can’t seem to figure out how to show up on time, to the family member who always calls you at the most inconvenient times.

You are called to love the sick child who throws off your perfectly planned day of “purposeful” work or the spouse who calls in the middle of your day needing a favor.

Choosing significance over success is not a life-altering choice—it’s not a daily choice—it’s a mindful choice. 

Significance is not measured by how many people attend your funeral or the number of people who say you changed their life for the better. 

There is no measuring stick for significance.

Only a compass.

Justin Simpkins and Shane Sowden have given us more than a book.

They’ve given us more than inspiration to throw out the measuring stick.

They’ve given us a compass to pursue significance.

Regardless of where you are in your journey, Significance Over Success will help you calibrate your compass as you pursue significance over success.

J.P. Nerbun